where have you been?

the new wordpress looks pretty sleek and clean. i likey.

I’ve always prided myself on having been able to keep the past behind me. Not really my thing to dig up the past and shove it in faces. (Okay, I may have done it once or twice, but I’m sure there was a good excuse reason.)

Anyway, the past few years have managed to remain there till this year. In a series of crazy events, somewhere along the way, memories and emotions came unhinged, creeped up behind me and whispered in a crazy voice, “We’re baaaaaaaa-aaack!”.

It doesn’t quite feel deja vu-ish. It feels like, it feels like I should know better this time around – this December. And maybe I do.

I’m a person of impulse. Hands up if I’ve called you in the middle of the day to go donate blood or meet up for coffee in an hour tops? See. It happens. It’s happened. Must keep that in check, Sab.

What I’m trying to say is, I think, that this just feels very familiar in a vague way. But I know- I remember how broken I felt that time. It was like that slap in the face was returned full force. Then I was the one who kinda had to live with it. Even though it was just between the two of us, it felt like everywhere I went, people were pointing and whispering, “That’s the silly girl who broke her own heart”.

If it happens again, and it will if I do what I know I shouldn’t, I probably won’t be able to handle it. Emotional wreck. Oh man, haha, I remember how depressed I was for months, a year even, after the thing.

No, Sab got wiser. Sab will shut her mouth and Sab will move on. This December, things are changing. I can feel it.

I am Sabrina and I approve this message.