where have you been?

for a couple of weeks now, i’ve been feeling a certain sort of resentment towards my photography. so if you were to now pop by my flickr page, you would notice that i took down a couple of shots. okay, not so much a couple but more of like ten of them are now thrashed.

anyway, i think it’s just that i need to fall in love with photography again. it’s been such a hectic mess these few weeks that i can’t find time to bring out my camera or actually bother to look at things from a critical and/or creative eye. nothing looks good anymore. and my camera’s not feeling me either. you know how like they say a violin plays you as much as you play it? okay, at least my violin teacher used to tell me that. anyway, same concept here, okay?

i miss photography. i was going to do a movement series and a raw black and white series but aiyah. and i decided to forgo taking photojourn next sem cause with the competition i’ll face, i won’t do as well and i’m not about to risk that. okay, but once i get the juju back, i will do those series, and i will love them.

so yeah. it’s the final week of school and i have a big ass project that i feel i’m losing my grip on and that scares the shit right out of my ass because my team’s grades are riding on this and my tutor’s just pushing and im-ing and text-ing me and i know it’s because she’s worried but her worry makes me worry ten million times more and right now, i wished we were leaving for kl tomorrow morning.

and i don’t have a phone! it’s not nice to be using someone else’s phone. and i can’t get a new phone cause i can’t find a job and it’s making me rather upset to think i’ll go back to the toy store because i’m not sure they even want me back now.

and i suck at driving. my instructor probably hates me for the damage i’m doing to his car’s engine and i’m sorry, sir. i’m trying my best not to freak out at the lights and to do a good three-point turn.

and this last note goes out to my friends. i’m sorry if i blew up at you, broke down into a fit of lunatic giggles, zone off while you were speaking to me (and if i had on a weird smile, we all know who i was thinking about. men in uniform, all) or have been or may be a psycho bitch in the next couple of days. you know that i love you from the deepest ends of my heart and the soles of my shoes, and thanks for being the stupid awesome annoyingly lovable and painstakingly amazing creatures that you are.

god, i’m mood swinging, aren’t i? and it’s not even that time of the month. bright eyes is the band to listen to this month.

don’t smoke, binge drink, or jump off cliffs.

and to that dude who was having lunch at the steps, you’re welcomed to join me and my peeps anytime. or maybe, i’ll be the one joining you, if you don’t mind too much.

this is the kinda conversations that take place during class on a regular basis.

and that’s the kinda things we engage in. we’re such fun to be around.

feat writing in school today was particularly interesting cause most of us experienced a semi-lunatic breakdown, and gunpowder was involved. but i guess it’s just another mass comm day for all of us.

we’re the best students you could ask for.

but i found this irritatingly intriguing.

the school gave us a book today called medialogues. it’s pretty and will look good on my arm, and on my bookshelf. thanks, school. you always know how to make me feel good.

the plan was not to fall in love with you.

hi best friend, we’re jobless, yes!

got that off xianjie’s blog. i like it much.

railway romance. pretty, ain’t it? i got that candid shot at the station on the way home today. it ended up that i spent a good chunk of my day on a last minute whirlwind day trip to johor with alex and zach. anyway, i’ll get the photos from them soon and you can see me sticking my head out of the train.

the love train HAHAHAHA hilarious.

And I know, you’re a part of me
And it’s your song, that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can’t hold on
I sing it tonight cos it comforts me

- “In Loving Memory”, Alter Bridge

yeah balls.

my dad, sister and i spent 4 hours in the middle of the jungle, trekking up to the tree top walk near mac ritchie. 4 hours walking mainly uphill (hmm, even on the trip back we were going uphill. how odd), and while it was fun, and quirky, it was exhausting.

i have a couple of pictures but i haven’t uploaded them from the camera. and most were blurry cause i was too tired to stop to focus. and i knew that the moment i stopped, i won’t be bothered to continue walking.

yes, there were animals. but my dad didn’t allow me to wave at the monkey. yes, i do occasionally wave and interact with wild animals. i’m just being friendly.

tmr’s monday and i think i have the day off. which gives me good time to finalise the magazine and pr and radio. and maybe pop out to get some milo dinosaur.

have a good one ahead, love.